I hate being awake late into the night, trapped in the dark haunted by every horrible thing I ever said, did, or thought. Worst part is knowing you can’t just escape because you won’t sleep until you’ve desperately fought to the point of emotional exhaustion.
You want to say Hi to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react? Fortunately, I can tell you with some certainty, because she’s already sending messages to you. Looking out the window, reading a book, working on a computer, arms folded across chest, body away from you = do not disturb. So, y’know, don’t disturb her. Really. Even to say that you like her hair, shoes, or book. A compliment is not always a reason for women to smile and say thank you. You are a threat, remember? You are Schrödinger’s Rapist. Don’t assume that whatever you have to say will win her over with charm or flattery. Believe what she’s signaling, and back off.
If you speak, and she responds in a monosyllabic way without looking at you, she’s saying, “I don’t want to be rude, but please leave me alone.” You don’t know why. It could be “Please leave me alone because I am trying to memorize Beowulf.” It could be “Please leave me alone because you are a scary, scary man with breath like a water buffalo.” It could be “Please leave me alone because I am planning my assassination of a major geopolitical figure and I will have to kill you if you are able to recognize me and blow my cover.”
On the other hand, if she is turned towards you, making eye contact, and she responds in a friendly and talkative manner when you speak to her, you are getting a green light. You can continue the conversation until you start getting signals to back off.
The fourth point: If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem.
There’s a man with whom I went out on a single date—afternoon coffee, for one hour by the clock—on July 25th. In the two days after the date, he sent me about fifteen e-mails, scolding me for non-responsiveness. I e-mailed him back, saying, “Look, this is a disproportionate response to a single date. You are making me uncomfortable. Do not contact me again.” It is now October 7th. Does he still e-mail?
Yeah. He does. About every two weeks.
This man scores higher on the threat level scale than Man with the Cockroach Tattoos. (Who, after all, is guilty of nothing more than terrifying bad taste.) You see, Mr. E-mail has made it clear that he ignores what I say when he wants something from me. Now, I don’t know if he is an actual rapist, and I sincerely hope he’s not. But he is certainly Schrödinger’s Rapist, and this particular Schrödinger’s Rapist has a probability ratio greater than one in sixty. Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well.
So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone. If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights.
For women, who are watching you very closely to determine how much of a threat you are, this is an important piece of data.—
an excerpt from Phaedra Starling’s “Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced” (via lostgrrrls)
HOLY FUCK THE TRUTH.
Can every one of my male followers read this? And please, before you get defensive (“I would never rape anyone!”) keep in mind, women being afraid of Shrodinger’s Rapists (oh my god i still can’t get over the encompassing brilliance of this phrase) is a conditioned, learned response from being immersed in rape culture and the evolution of sexism and sexual violence in our society from the day we’re born. And unfortunately, it’s very difficult to unlearn without the efforts of all genders to dismantle it. Which is where you come in.
It’s also just rude and disrespectful to patently ignore what someone has told you regarding their personal space, body, and time. Get a clue.
the anti vaccination movement basically consists of random people with no knowledge of medicine going “I can medicine better than doctors” and it would be hilarious if it wasn’t literally killing people
you dont need vaccines, I havent had any and Im still doing great
wow, what a compelling argument. you’ve got me
in other news, i am still alive therefore death must be a myth
How much research have you done on these toxins you’re putting in your body? Also all the kids that have died from getting the measles or polio are the kids that got vaccinated.
this just in, everybody: the tens thousands of deaths and hundreds of thousands of disabilities caused by polio between its identification in 1908 and the introduction of vaccines in the early 1950s were, in fact, caused retroactively by those very vaccines
There’s a reason that children too young to be vaccinated, the elderly too old to be vaccinated, and those few who choose not to get vaccinated can live safely with minimal risk of being infected. It’s called herd immunity. With so many vaccinated individuals in the system, the chance of the infection or virus establishing a foothold in the population drastically decreases. But with more and more unvaccinated people in the population, should enough of them become exposed, the pathogen can spread to those who aren’t protected and prove debilitating if not fatal to them. This is how epidemics or god-forbid pandemics start; when a pathogen finds a population that doesn’t have the adequate immune system to fight it off before infecting many others, it spreads fast.
Yes, vaccines pose risks; what medical treatment or prevention doesn’t? But we are getting better at making them much more safer. We used to just inject weakened or dead viruses into the body, but now for some viruses we can just the viral proteins without any active viral DNA to replicate and establish infection. The body can still recognize and fight the virus should it be exposed.
We’re manly men. We fight in wars, we play sports, we drive noisy cars. We’re tough.
We’re terrified of body hair on women though.
And menstrual blood.
and women’s farts
and being perceived as feminine in any way.
and gay men.
and women capable of fighting back.